Yesterday ended with an abrupt emotional breakdown that I lacked the ability to control. I’m facing challenges so large in my life right now that I simply don’t know how to navigate through them. I don’t have anyone to lean on either which makes everything that much more difficult.

I’m not sure how to go about finding a roommate that is responsible and dependable. The situation with Jon left me quite shaken up – I’m letting myself be taken advantage of and that needs to stop.

This morning I placed a new ad on Craigslist adding one new stipulation; anyone who wants to move in must pay 50% of the first months rent up front, then the rest on the 1st. This will help to ensure that I’m not getting used by people.

Recently I read Denton Little’s Still Not Dead by Lance Rubin which is the second part to the Denton Little’s Death Date duology. I don’t know why these books aren’t getting more attention, they are hilarious and have this backwards humor that I enjoy a lot.

The story follows Denton Little who lives in a world where the day of your death is known. What makes Denton unique is that he is a ‘young death’ which means that he is dated to die just before completing High School – in fact, he is supposed to die on the night of his prom. This means that the day before his prom Denton gets to have his funeral, and on the day of prom he essentially is waiting to die.

Although the premise sounds bleak, Denton is basically a clumsy idiot who is facing many challenges in his young life – and he faces those challenges… awkwardly. What I learned from this story is that if you put a little effort into the situation you are in, you have the power to change it – for the better. Even things as finite as a death date can be altered – if you take the needed time to learn how to combat it.

This is the lesson that I need to apply to my life right now. I need to make the realization that I WILL get through this current circumstance I’m in. That if I budget carefully I’ll be able to cover all my bills and even have some extra money left over at the end of the month. I must recognize that what I’m facing is difficult I CAN GET THROUGH IT.

There are no certainties in life – but with a little determination, there is a way through ALMOST every obstacle that life tries to throw at you. I have the determination… even if I’m lacking in the optimism department.

I’ll move forward.

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