It’s been a week and the new roommate spends a majority of his time in his room, which isn’t a terrible thing I suppose since that’s what I’ve been doing myself for the past three months. I guess I feel that maybe he doesn’t understand that his rent gives him permission to use other parts of the house as well.

So far, I believe, things are going good. Since my [former] best friend left with out a word, I am now apprehensive that the same situation will be repeated with someone else and I really can’t handle that right now. The amount of stress that I was under was too much and was impacting every aspect of my life.

I even discovered a dime-size patch of gray hair.

I’m 32 years old and I already have gray hair due to stress caused by one irresponsible person. How can this be?

I do keep telling myself that with the new roommate, I will not have to be as stressed out all the time because I have the assurance that someone is here to help cover the bills. I want this to be true.

But I’m moving into a future that has a lot of daily uncertainty. This gives me unease. I enjoy stability and having a certain level of control over the events in my life – and so much is out of my hands right now that it is getting difficult to focus.

This weekend I do plan on cleaning and getting significant amount of things done around the house that I”ve been putting off for way too long. I need to find the optimism that I once had and rediscover that desire I had to build for myself a future. This depression that has taken over my life just needs to go. Albeit, it has subsided a bit over the past week – but it’s poison continues to linger.

I do personally wish that my ‘second’ roommate was around a bit so that I could talk to him Just to get things off my mind.