Friendship’s come to an end – sometimes with a bang, sometimes with a whimper. I am pretty sure the person that once called me his best friend is no longer a friend at all.

It’s been over a month since I’ve last spoken or seen him. I do not know what he is up to. All of his stuff remains in this house however and it is unclear to me what that means. I do not know if he is going to pay for his portion of the rent this month which means that I will have to come up with an extra $300.

I am so lost.

This entire situation has been very exhausting and I am trying so hard to keep my mind off of it, but depression takes over none-the-less.

I do not feel that it is my responsibility to get a hold of him since he did the leaving and not me. I have so much stress due to all of this that it is beginning to give me health issues.

I have placed ad’s on various websites seeking a new roommate because I am unsure if my “best friend” is coming back. I’m not sure how I’ll be able to make it if I don’t get another person in here though.

The reality is, however, that this is not the first time that he has treated me like this. Whenever he is with his baby-mama, he feels obligated to treat me like crap. She encourages it despite the fact that the reason those two are even talking is that I went out of my way to get him to start talking to her again.

I’ll be honest though – what he is doing could very well fuck me over and a lot of the time I’m just thinking of ways to counter it. I’ve gone way out of my way to get him where he is today – if he screws me over, I pretty sure I won’t hesitate to completely destroy his AND HER life.

I am getting to the point where I absolutely do not care anymore. I am getting too old for these sorts of games and I am no longer willing to just sit back and take it as my world falls apart due to their selfish antics.

  • The way things are going – I may need to change the direction of this blog.
  • What my “best friend” doesn’t understand is that for the majority of the time that I’ve known him, I’ve been under very high amounts of stress.
  • When I went to the hospital shortly after first meeting – that was stressful.
  • When I paid all his bills and helped him get his car fixed and helped him find and get a job – that was stressful.
  • When I had him move into my tiny one bedroom apartment, then got threatened with eviction because he had no where else to go – that was stressful.
  • Co-signing on a car loan for him so he could have a dependable vehicle, just to find out that he was on the verge of losing the new job I helped him get – that was stressful.
  • Dealing with the insurance agency that was so inept I was receiving a new quote by them almost twice a week because the agent didn’t know what he was doing – that was stressful.
  • The two months it took of  getting the house that I am currently living in, while worrying about said eviction – then him disappearing off to his baby-mama’s place for several weeks – that was stressful.
  • When I was finally able to move into this house and continually had to put up with the drama caused by his baby-mama as I dealt with all the new things that owning a home entails – that was stressful.
  • And finally, him just leaving without notice, making me wonder how I’ll be able to pay the bills – that is also stressful.

If he wonder’s why I’m on the edge all the time – I wish he could take all of that into consideration. I am constantly fixing his mistakes and, as of right now, I think that I’m done – just completely done – with that.