I stayed home from work last night – after nearly collapsing again on Monday, I figured I should give my self some rest and allow for a bit of recuperation of some variety.

I am legitimately scared that if I collapse again, I will not be able to pull through like last time. I am doing everything I can to let myself heal – but my body doesn’t seem to want to cooperate at all.

Meanwhile, when my best friend got home from work he told me that he has a date this up coming Saturday. I can’t recall exactly how he met her, but the date is at some family outing of some variety.

I just hope he doesn’t do anything stupid. He has a tendency to do stupid things without consideration of the consequences – hence his daughter and that extensive drama that lead to him losing his job back in January of this year.

I keep hoping he’ll grow up a bit, but in reality all growing up is after all is navigating through life’s multitude of blunders and hopefully learning from them. These blunders often serve up some of the coldest lessons. I just wish my best friend didn’t make so many of them.

At any rate, I spent most the night and the morning… and the afternoon reading SIX of CROWS. I’m about half done and I’m enjoying it quite a bit. My mind wonders occasionally though to this fear that I’m not going to make it through my 30’s. I’ll die from an out of control hemorrhoid that refuses to heal.

I’ll be someone’s lesson..