As we get closer to the closing date I get more anxious and excited. I am persistently hoping that I’ve done everything right in regards to the mortgage. I can’t lose this house because if I do, I will lose everything and that is not a situation that I want to be in.

I wish that I were constantly being updated on the status of, well, everything. I don’t want any hiccoughs or delays. So far everything is looking good. I need everything to continue to go this way.

Yesterday I was having a panic attack basically worrying about the house. I was wondering if there were closing costs and fee’s that I’d have to come up with suddenly. This prospect frightened me because I don’t have $4,500 just laying around.

I asked my mortgage broker at 2AM about the closing costs. He told me at about 8am that all those fee’s would be wrapped in the mortgage. According to the appraisal, the house already has some equity on it – it’s worth more than what we’re buying it for.

I just so desperately need for things to work.

For me.

For my best friend.

For us.