This morning after work I had breakfast with my best friends mom. We told her our plan of getting a place together and she clearly wasn’t going for it. Motives were questioned, allegations were made and doubt was created. I was anticipating that the meeting would go good, but now I’m feeling, well… awful.

That euphoric feeling I had the past couple days has been replaced with doubt. Doubt about myself and, sadly, about the friendship itself. I don’t believe that I have ulterior motives in regards to my best friend – but whenever people look at the friendship between my friend and I, that is insinuated.

So right now I’m feeling like shit, my optimism about getting a place with my best friend as been crushed and I’m trying to figure out whether it’s as good as an idea as I first thought. What is it about me that makes people dislike me?

We didn’t set up this meeting to seek her approval or support of this plan of ours – the meeting was simply made so that I could meet her and, well, I felt just a bit attacked. I watch a lot of people – including my own siblings – go out and buy homes and they aren’t ever questioned.

I did not put her son in the current predicament he is in.I did not put him in that relationship he had with his ex-girlfriend, I did not cause him to lose his job, I did not damage his car. I did not cause his girlfriend to break up with him. I took time off work to take him to job interviews, I paid to have his car fixed, I paid his bills so he wouldn’t fall behind on those. I took him to his job orientation and helped him get the job he currently has. I did everything in my power to prevent the current situation that he is in, but it happened anyway. He is literally on the verge of being homeless and I’m offering him a place to stay. There is NOT an ulterior motive here. If I had my way, he’d still be working where I was, he’d still have the option of continuing to live at the place that he is now on the verge of losing (he can only stay there until the end of the month).

Maybe I should suggest to her that he move back in with her at the end of the month.

I guess wanting to be around my best friend is a bad thing.