I experienced a full-blown anxiety attack last night. I wasn’t sure what was going on with my body, with my emotions, with anything really. I went to the bathroom and started a mixture of shaking, crying, puking and light-headedness. I had an inability to focus.
And it was all taking place at work.
The most awful part was that I could not fathom exactly what was happening. I would break out into periods of sweat then intense shivers. I was disoriented for a large portion of the time. It was extremely tough for me to try and pull myself together.
But I did – as much as I could feasibly manage and I made my way from the rest room back to the press and continued my shift.
The entire experience was the second time in my life where I felt I’d lost complete control of my body and had no idea how to ‘right’ myself. The first time was just before I collapsed at work back in December 2015. The feeling of being disoriented was frightening.
I almost had another one of these panic attacks when I got home from work this morning. I don’t know what I did differently to prevent it’s full onslaught this time, but whatever it was subsided.
Where has my happiness gone?