After having a huge snow storm in Michigan just a few days ago – it’s going to be almost 70 degrees today – and my mind is all over the place which is the general state of things.
I am beginning to realize that our friendship has grown one-sided; that I am the one who is putting in the effort to keep this friendship going. I should have seen this coming when I helped him get his car back and get a new job… well, to be fair I think I did see this coming and stated it: that my purpose in this friendship is purely utilitarian. My usefulness is beginning to cease and he’s regaining some independence so his need for me is declining.
And his dead-beat girlfriend has finally decided to put in a little bit of effort to help him when he needs it – now that all the tough stuff has been dealt with by me.
I took him out to breakfast yesterday after his first day and he was telling me that he want’s to use his money to give to her to help her with her utility bill, her rent, her credit cards, her grocery bill and so on and so forth. “Because I live with her after all,” was his rationale.
Again I wonder about the state of our friendship. Did I basically allow myself to be taken advantage of?
Another frustration I have is that it’s not possible for me to hang out with just my best friend with out having to go somewhere to do so. Since he lives with his girlfriend, if I want to hang out, she is of course there too so the entire time I feel awkward like they are just waiting for me to leave.
How did I acquire the new responsibility of calling him every night to make sure he gets up in time for work? Why can’t he – or his girlfriend do this?
He wanted to have some sort of party this weekend – but I do not feel like being the awkward third-wheel on my only night off in three weeks. Not to mention my car is in need of a new battery and I gave him ALL my “extra” money so he could get steel-toed boots for his new job and get other things dealt with.
So I must wait until payday to get my own issues dealt with.
This weekend I’m going out to a club.
I’m wondering if what I need to do is to get myself another friend so that I’m not devoting so much time and energy in my best friend. Maybe that would help to balance the scales. I can only wonder how much he’d enjoy hearing from me that we can’t hang out because I’m busy with someone else – a practice that he does with me often.