There is so much potential in tomorrow, however I don’t foresee much happening. The plan is that after I get out of work in the morning, I’m going to go pick up my best friend and take him to his former home to pick up his insurance claim check. That will be an hour long drive.

From there we’ll head back in the same direction that we came then drive an extra twenty minutes to the mechanic where his car is. I’ll pay the remainder of the repair bill then we’ll go to a gas station and I’ll fill his car up with gas.

After that, he’ll go to back to his girlfriends house and probably get high with her and I’ll go back to my apartment.

I’m not sure how much talking him and I will do. Will I finally be able to tell him that his girlfriend is ruining his life? Probably not. Will I tell him that I looked up the signs to look out for in a “toxic friendship” and that many of those signs him and I are currently experiencing?

Will I tell him how emotionally taxing all of this is for me? That the only ‘relief’ I have from this mess is this blog that I started with the hopes of airing out many of my frustrations?

I don’t know.

I don’t know.

I don’t know!

Today he texted me asking how my new tires were, I never responded.
I have too much on my mind.
It’s difficult to breath in so many ways.

I have no problem or hesitation in doing what it’ll take to get his car repaired, but what will it take to begin to repair this friendship? I need this friendship to survive, but we’re in the midst of a dreadful storm and I don’t know how to prevent everything from capsizing.

He is my lifeboat…
…but I’m becoming convinced that he thinks that she is now his lifeboat.

I’ll probably drown.