His car is fixed! Mostly. My best friends BMW has a lot of issues but for now at least the thing is driveable.

I was unable to tell him the things that I wanted to – he is going through such a rough time right now that I can’t bring myself to dishearten him anymore. All I did was reassure him that I’d be there for him and that I’d do what ever I could to help him.

His doctors bill from the other day came to $82 and I told him that I’d cover that for him. It’s due within 10 days.

According to him he didn’t have the flu, what happened is that him and his girlfriend went out in the snow storm that Michigan had last week to buy weed and she lost control of her car and they went in the ditch. His “flu” was caused by him trying to get the car out of the ditch. He, as he says, “over-exerted” himself.

His girlfriend is giving him until April to find a job, otherwise he has to leave.

He’s welcome to live with me.

I told him that.

While driving home I had the front driver side tire on my car pop which nearly caused me to lose control of my car and drive into on coming traffic. It took over an hour for me to remove the bad tire and put on a spare so I’d be able to drive it.

I took my car to a business that sells and installs new and used tires and had them look at the car. After looking at the tires that I still had on the car and the one that I had removed, they told me that all the tires were badly worn and should be replaced.

The fact that all the tires were bald was quite evident once my car was raised up to eye level.

Fortunately the business had a set of four used tires there for sale that were in quite good condition.

They wanted $200 for them.

After calculating my budget I agreed to get the set.

Although I’m still going to have enough money to cover the cost of getting my best friends car fixed, I am not sure if I’ll be able to pay his March bills.

I’m quite stressed right now.

There is an age difference between my best friend and I. He’s 23 and I’m 31. This difference is never an issue until someone points it out – usually after asking us what our ages are. The age gap between us is, in many ways one of the bonds we have that hold us together – which is very tough to explain. Although our varied ages is one of the differences between us, that is far from the only one.

When my best friend was in High School he was considered one of the best football players in the state of Michigan. His college recruitment video is available for viewing on YouTube that highlights his many athletic achievements, especially in football.

I on the other hand was the quiet nerdy type in High School. The one who worked on the school newspaper and aspired one day to be a writer of some variety. The only sport I played was soccer and I was mediocre at best. I spent my free time reading.

We come from different backgrounds, but for some reason fate – or mere happenstance – brought us together on the night of November 3, 2015, his second night at work. We talked a little as I attempted to teach him what all that his new job would entail. He was good. I admired his initiative that he took and told him.

Despite the seniority difference between us; he being on his second day and I being on my second year, I told him that we were equals. We were … and are and we will always remain so.

Our friendship has a balance that is maintained solely through the love we have for one another. Sometimes our friendship is a bit off balance, but it always finds it’s equilibrium again. It’s a friendship unlike any I’ve ever had in my life.

Obviously there is a weakness in our relationship and that is communication. Yes, we tell each other a lot, however our deeper concerns remain hidden as we focus more on the more cosmetic issues. This blog is a blatant example of that. I do not know how to tell him that I believe that his girlfriend is playing a large role in destroying his life. I do not know how to tell him that a relationship solely based on sex and lust will deteriorate as soon as reality strikes.

I don’t know how to tell him that I’m not sure I’ll be able to rescue him when his life completely collapses – and that is my greatest fear, there will be a point in our friendship where I will no longer be able to save him.

This morning my friend and I were supposed to go and get coffee together but he’s too sick. He spent most of the night vomiting. He says that he can’t even get up.

The doctor says that he may have the flu.

Great – on two fronts.

First I hope that I don’t come down with the same illness he’s got because I cannot afford to miss work since I’m quite honestly paying the bills for two people. Two car payments, two car insurance payments, two student loan payments, two cell phone payments, my rent payment, his credit card payment,  my internet payment and my hospital bills, his car repair…

…and now he’s going to have a bill from his doctor. He has no insurance so this won’t be a small bill, and even if it were I’m kind of tight right now in the way of money.

Will the person he lives with cover this cost for the trip to Urgent Care? I have my doubts.

As rude and terrible as this may sound, sometimes I wish that I could just walk away from all of this. Just tell my friend, “you made your bed, now you lie in it.”

I do have my own life that I want to attend to a bit here and there but all my energy seems to be going towards pulling my friend out of the abyss he’s fallen into.

His daughter from his ex-girlfriend will be born in about two months – that’s pretty much how long he has to get his life together. He’s been unemployed for a month and a half and he’s only applied to perhaps 5 different places. A lot of this is due to his car being undriveable at the moment – however his girlfriend has a vehicle and I’ve offered several times to take him around to gather applications.

I wonder as I sip my cup of coffee here alone if he really understands the magnitude of the situation he’s in…

…or am I blowing it way out of proportion?